I was a sophomore at Southeastern in Early Childhood Education whenever I found out about the Praxis. I heard there are two of them, but I only needed to pass Praxis One at this time in my education. So, I came home and stressed to Mom and Dad about how it was such a big deal because it had to be passed by a certain time in order for me to continue taking education classes and finish my degree. I instantly became very anxious with just the thought of the Praxis because I am not a good test taker at all. The test was three different parts, Reading, Writing, and Math. I knew writing wouldn’t be hard at all, was unsure about reading, and completely had zero confidence in math. I purchased a book off of Amazon and started to studying some- every now and then last summer. In October, my advisor really stressed to me that I needed to really study for it and begin to start taking the tests. Last December I took all three tests combined and didn’t pass any of them. Of course my first feeling was a little discouraged, but knew I could come back the next time to pass them. Another month went by and I took the combined tests again, but only passed writing. I felt a lot better about passing the writing section, but knew I still had a long road ahead because of the other two tests. The following month or so, I took reading and math again. In reading, I missed it by two points. In math, I missed it by thirty points. After that day, I was overly discouraged and cried the whole way home from LSU (where I took the tests). After that, I studied more and was confident, but also scared about taking them again. I took them separately this time to help not be so stressed out in one day. I took reading, missed it by twenty points. Took math and missed it by 12 points. I knew then after that day that this was a very serious struggle I was going through. I constantly prayed about them and just asked God to help me prepare for these tests, pass them, and move on with my education. Last semester, I really focused on math because I knew that one would be the hardest for me. I realized my best option was to have a very tedious study plan, so I bought an online study course that was crazy expensive. I constantly did math every single day of my life to where the only day I didn’t do math was on Sunday’s so I could rest. It was honestly so overwhelming and I had tons of meltdowns. I remember just sitting at my desk, bursting out into tears, and asking myself “is this really worth it?” I was beginning to get so frustrated and stressed out about the math section of the test. After I finished the study course, I did twenty+ hours of math. I then felt so drained, but also prepared. The week before the test, I studied every single day for hours and hours. On Saturday, I sat at the table and did math from 8am to 6pm straight. After the long day, I was so drained and just cried for an hour because I was still unsure. I had the plan of studying the following day, Sunday because my test was that Monday. My Mom, Nana, and Bennett told me to not do that because I needed to rest. Even though I felt guilty for resting on Sunday, the day before my exam, I was still happy to rest and not have my nose stuck in a book. Monday morning at 8am came quick and I was nervous. I prayed several times before taking the test and during the test, I teared up about a problem I was unsure about. At that point during the test, I started to lose confidence. I finally pulled myself together, submitted my test, and I saw the number 154, which was four points over what I needed to pass! God was definitely there watching over me and giving me the knowledge and confidence I needed to pass. After passing math, I focused on reading. I didn’t think reading would be as hard as math, but it was. I took it in June and made a 154, when I needed a 156 to pass. After that day, I cried and cried and cried. I was just so discouraged. I was beginning to then have negative thoughts about passing it and my future life. I scheduled to take it again on July 22nd at 11am. I studied for it the week before, but also the week before I cried every single day for an hour or so. A week before the exam, I sat on my Mom’s bed and started to talk to her about my options if I didn’t pass the Praxis in time. If I didn’t pass reading on July 22nd, I wouldn’t be able to take the EDUC classes I needed to finish my degree. That alone was so very stressful for me. I even talked about dropping out and just working because I was so scared and discouraged. The next day, I was on my way home from work, I started crying, and couldn’t stop. I was just so confused and lost at this point. I kept asking God “Why is this happening to me? Why can’t I pass this test?”. I was so scared to see what was to come in my life. I know there isn’t ANYTHING else in this world that I wanted to major in. All I wanted was to be a teacher and inspire kids. I love kids so much and just want to encourage them to not only be the best student they can be, but also the best person they can be. I just couldn’t understand why I couldn’t pass this one last exam of the Praxis so I could take those classes and become a teacher. I knew God had a plan for me (and still does), but I just wasn’t sure what his plan was. Even though I was scared, I put all of my trust in Him. I stopped at my Nana’s house to talk to her. She was standing on her front porch when I pulled up and I got out of my car and was crying and walking to her house. I said “Nana, can I please talk to you?” I explained to her how lost I was and how I just had no idea what to do or think. I was so heartbroken. This one last test was holding me back from the rest of my life and becoming a teacher. By this point, I lost every single bit of my confidence. I was so nervous, scared, and anxious of what was to come on July 22nd at 11am. While at my Nana’s, I called my aunt (Mimi),and talked to her. She comforted me, told me that I am dedicated, and that I would be the best first grade teacher. I explained to her how I was so scared of what was to come and started to tell her my “Plan B” if I didn’t pass the Praxis. She told me, “Stop trying to plan everything so far in advance. Focus on taking the Praxis on Monday, and we will go from there.” At this point, I just turned completely to God and gave it to Him for Him to handle for me. I came home that night and cried even more, until Bennett came over and surprised me with a bouquet of flowers. The rest of the week, I studied for an hour each day. Monday came around and I prayed on my way to take the exam, before I started the exam, and even during the exam about 4-5 times. My family was praying for me. Bennett was praying for me. My good friend Abby was praying for me. My other good friend, Becca and her mom were praying for me. All of these people were just praying and praying and praying. I went through the test nervously and even sometimes where I was unsure, but after finishing the test and pressing submit, I saw the score 160. Which is four points over what I needed to pass with. I logged out of the test, signed out, and ran out of there with an overflowing amount of happiness. I had FINALLY passed Praxis 1!!! Thank you, Jesus. You are so good to me.
This has been such a long and stressful journey, but it is and will continue to be worth it. Even though I have 2 1/2 years left of school, I am so overjoyed and excited to finally schedule my EDUC classes for next semester and be on the road to finish my degree in Early Childhood Education.
I give every ounce of glory to God. He is the one who got me through this. He is the one who gave me strength, confidence, faith, and knowledge to pass this exam. He is the one who gave me everything I needed in order to pass this exam and be able to finish the classes I need. God’s love in unfailing and so constant. God will NEVER fail us. He has a plan for every single one of us, even when we can’t see it or understand it. This journey with God and the Praxis has increased my faith through Him and I am so very thankful for every bit of it. No matter what you go through, God will ALWAYS be there every step of the way, and help you through it all. When things go bad, we should not run away from God and shake our fist at Him. We should run to him with open arms when things get rough. That is what He wants because that will grow your faith and bring you closer to Him. Our God is so so good. I am in awe of His grace and His love.
“I will trust you even when it hurts.” – Lauren Daigle
“You are everything I need.” – Lauren Daigle
God will relieve you of your distress and hear your prayer. Psalms 4:1
“Through all that bends and breaks, you are still wrapped in grace.” -Morgan Harper Nichols
Let His grace sustain you.
I will walk by faith even when I cannot see. 2 Corinthians 5:7
Through it all, it is well.
God is writing your story, stop trying to steal the pen.
Lord, make my faith be bigger than my fears.
Where I am broken, God is whole.
God is GOOD.
Linny's Blog 